The Dilema of High Heels

It's incredible how far reaching the effects of RA are. I've stressed many times because of RA, but I never imagined that RA would lead me to stress over high heels. Yes, high heels.


A few months into RA I realized I had not worn any of my high heels...and let me tell you, I have a ton! My toes, heels, and ankles hurt pretty regularly so I knew wearing high heels to work was no longer an option. This in itself required a period of mourning. It may sound silly and as if I'm exaggerating, but it's not about the heels. It's about feeling restricted in doing simple things, things that you never gave a second thought to. RA somehow manages to make every decision an internal mini debate. It gets exhausting!


Still, I held hope for weekends and special occasions where I could throw on a pair of heels and feel that surge of confidence you feel as you feel taller and stronger the minute you slide your feet into some heels (does that not happen to everyone?). The first opportunity that came up for a test run was a friend's wedding. I elected a simple black wedge with a rounded toe. I figured the wedge would provide some stability and the rounded toe would let my little toes have some breathing room. The ceremony and reception were in downtown (San Antonio, Tx.), so I knew some walking would be involved. I'd recently experienced a flare and intense fatigue was lingering, as such, my husband and I decided we would only stay a max of 3 hours. I figured 3 hours in heels was maybe pushing it, so I brought along a pair of very slim, flats (stuck them in my clutch!).


The walk to the ceremony was about 5-7 minutes and I did pretty good. Minimal discomfort, not much more than pesky toes tingling every so often. The ceremony was held outside by the riverfront, but we were able to sit down throughout it. I did pretty good throughout the reception, mainly because we opted to sit down for the most part and talk with friends. 2 hours in and it started to rain! The venue was half outside, half inside, so thankfully there was a place to hang out. Side Note: The bride and groom kept dancing in the rain- it was adorable! Even though our 3 hours weren't up, we decided to head out in case the rain got heavier (I would really be screwed then). The walk back was a bit more uncomfortable than going in, but it was do-able. However, I did kick those heels off as soon as we were in the truck :)


This little test run made me feel much better. Just knowing heels were an option gave me some satisfaction. Since the wedding (~6 months) I haven't worn heels again.  I haven't had a lot of occasions to justify potential discomfort and pain, so flats and boots have been my go-tos. I've thought on and off about donating or selling a few pairs, but I just can't part with them. So, I just gaze at them all lined up in their pretty little clear boxes. I try not to think too much about how much money I've invested in heels, otherwise I start to cringe. I'm still holding out hope that one day I can regularly wear them again, but the reality of me wearing my 30+ pairs of sky-high designer heels are pretty dismal at this point. I play with the idea of wearing them a few hours at work everyday, but between the stiffness and fatigue in the morning, I honestly never remember. Even if I did remember, I doubt I would have the energy to give it a go. Still, I hold hope!


I'm curious about others' experience. Do you still wear high heels? Have you gotten rid of them? Am I the only one who even thinks about this?